The secret is in the waiting room.
You have a desire, a desire for a partner in your life. A desire for a new home, a better relationship, a new job, or more money.
You feel the desire maybe as lack of something in your life, maybe as a desire for something new or something more. My hope is that you can tap into the place where you desire something, feel the possibility of it existing in your life, and the joy of having it. By tapping into that good feeling, you are drawing it to you. Often, in the beginning we can feel excited about the idea of this expansion in our life but as time goes on this excitement diminishes.
We put too much emphasis on the result, getting that job, finding the partner, or getting that check. We are missing so much when our emphasis is on the result. Yes, it is nice to get the job, the partner, or the money, but that isn’t all there is. As soon as you get something you start desiring something else. Have you noticed that? You find the perfect partner and before long you start thinking how you can change them. I found my perfect house not long ago and before I had even finished unpacking, I was making plans to change things. What happened to it being perfect? This is just human nature. We are always expanding. We will always have new desires and that is ok.
Are you enjoying the journey? What happens once you have a desire and you are waiting for it to be fulfilled? What happens when you get what you want? Can you find things to be grateful for and at every step along the way? Can you allow yourself to enjoy what you have right now while still waiting for more?
There are times in our lives when we are in the waiting room. What are you doing while you are there? How are you waiting? Are you waiting fitfully and with worry and anxiety? Or, can you find a way to enjoy your life to it’s fullest while you are waiting patiently. I know patience is not something most of us like, me included. But life exists in the moment and we waste so much of it fretting about where we aren’t instead of enjoying where we are. How can you wait with ease and grace?
For my singles, you get excited and decide to start dating or try a new dating site. Then when you don’t find the him/her right away, or maybe you don’t even get a date, you get discouraged and your attitude takes a turn from excitement to frustration. I understand why this happens and that it can be discouraging. I want you to consider a new approach. Find joy in the waiting room, fill it with things that delight you while you wait. Fill your life with things you love so it doesn’t matter how long it takes for your partner to arrive because you are happy now. Having the expectation that finding the right partner will make you happy isn’t realistic anyway! Yes, it can add a layer of happiness to your life, but it is not what will make you happy. Like my perfect house, before too long you will find things you want to change.
I have noticed this in my career as well. As soon as I hit the next thing I want to accomplish, instead of being satisfied, I find something new I want to accomplish. This is perfectly ok just don’t stop enjoying what you just accomplished. The easiest way to do this is to be mindful of your feelings and thoughts. When you are aware, you have the power to make a different choice. You can shift your perspective to one of happiness and gratitude for what is while still expanding and having a desire for more.
If you are struggling, don’t struggle alone. Reach out and let’s hop on a call and discuss about how I can help you move from where you are to where you want to be.
Hugs,
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist
www.LoriAnnDavis.com