What your partner really wants for Valentine’s Day!

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. So what does your partner really want? Love is a great thing and coupled with chocolate, it is even better. Gift giving on holidays is usually appreciated by your partner but today we are going to dig a little deeper and talk about what men and women really want, not just on special occasions. I know buying a box of chocolate or some roses is easy and you only have to do it one day a year. In order to create and maintain that Unstoppable Relationship, it takes a little more consistent effort.

For him:

• He wants intimacy and passion! This is a great Valentine’s Day gift but he really wants this from you on a regular basis. Now I am not saying you have to plan a sexy, romantic evening every night. That is not realistic but you can flirt with him on a regular basis. You can show him and tell him how attracted you are to him. You can make sure you add some form of intimacy and touch to your daily life.
• He wants you to appreciate him. For Valentine’s Day you could write him a note telling him how much you appreciate all he does for you and the family. This acknowledgment will mean a great deal to him. Then make it a point to let him know what you appreciate on a regular basis. I write often about how small things make a big difference in a relationship and this is one of the most important ones. Men really need to feel successful in their relationship with you.
• Accept him for who he is! Let your guy know that you love and support him for who he is, not who you would like him to be. Give him the gift of unconditional love. He wants to feel safe being himself around you. Tell him how much you love him and what you like about him. What makes him special? You want to be his biggest fan! What a great gift to give the person you love.

For Her:

• Make her a priority. For Valentine’s Day, plan something special for the two of you. She wants and needs your attention, but not just on Valentine’s Day. She needs to know that she is a priority in your life. That you love her and would still choose her to be your partner. Spend quality time together on a regular basis and take the lead in planning some of these times together.
• Listen to her. Give her your undivided attention. This means turning off the TV and putting away the cell phone and really taking an interest in her life. On Valentine’s Day, spend some time together and learn something about her that you didn’t already know? Then continue to do this throughout the year. When she feels heard she will know you care and will feel closer to you.
• Kiss her like you love her! We talked about men wanting sex for Valentine’s Day but women need intimacy from you. Kiss her like you love her, not just want her. For women, intimacy starts in the heart. Give her more physical touch. Hold her hand, snuggle with her, kiss her, and flirt with her, when you are not headed to the bedroom. Go back to dating her. She will love the attention. Intimacy is more than just physical touch; it includes sharing thoughts, feelings, and secrets. It is emotional as well as physical. All this will help her feel loved and wanted, which will lead to a closer bond and ultimately more interest in sex.

I hope you this article gave you an idea or two of how to show your partner you love them on Valentine’s Day and every day.

I would love to hear your ideas. What are you planning for Valentine’s Day? What has your partner done in the past that you would like to share? Leave your comments below.

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Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist