Humans love to be comfortable. It’s one of our strongest urges. Unfortunately, the desire to be comfortable can be a prison. It’s hard to grow and flourish if your primary objective is comfort. Escaping your comfort zone is important if you want to have an exciting and fulfilling life.
As I write this we are in the middle of a pandemic and protests. Change is in the air and getting out of our comfort zone is more important now than ever. Can you see change as something positive? How can you embrace change and make the most of the time we are in?
Use these strategies to move beyond your comfort zone and create a meaningful life:
Start by making a list of the things that make you uncomfortable. What exactly makes you uncomfortable? Is it crowds? Dating? Parties? Speaking to new people?
Learn to soothe yourself. Some people are naturally better at this than others, but anyone can strengthen their ability to calm themselves down. A simple, but effective way of doing this:
- Focus on the part of your body where you feel discomfort. This is most commonly in the head, chest, or stomach area. Put your full attention on the discomfort.
- Breathe fully and relax that part of your body. You might even imagine a tube coming out of that area that permits the discomfort to be released.
- Practice this skill throughout the day. Sitting in traffic and feeling annoyed? Use the technique. Nervous about a test or meeting? Use the technique.
Go to places that make you uncomfortable. Extract the items from the list you made above that are places. Maybe the mall is one of them. Go to the mall and sit there. Rate your level of discomfort on a scale from 1 to 10. Use your soothing technique and rate your anxiety again. Move around the mall and repeat the process.
Do things that make you uncomfortable. Pick some other things from your list. Perhaps concerts make you uncomfortable, or crowds in general. Maybe you hate parties. How about online dating if you are single? Practice talking to people you might not have talked to in the past. Can you put off judgments and just spend some time getting to know them? These are all additional places to practice.
Read things that make you uncomfortable. Look on Amazon or ask your friends for suggestion of books that might push you outside of your comfort zone.
- Use your soothing technique whenever you feel uncomfortable. Finish the entire book!
Watch TV shows and movies that make you uncomfortable. Some people hate movies about corrupt politicians. Others dislike movies with nudity. Maybe you’re not a fan of romantic comedies. Perhaps you dislike political talk shows. Make yourself watch what makes you uncomfortable and practice calming yourself down.
Create an alter-ego. You have a work personality, a home personality, and an “out with the guys or gals” personality. You have multiple personas to most effectively deal with the different parts of your life. Create an alter ego specifically for dealing with discomfort.
Allow yourself to be physically uncomfortable. Allow yourself to be hot, cold, or tired and deal with that physical discomfort.
Read inspiring books. One way to blast through your discomfort is to be inspired by others. It can be a short-lived feeling, but a single success can start to convince your brain that there’s no reason to be uncomfortable.
Plan an adventure. Do something big that makes you uncomfortable. It should also be something that interests you. Your interest can help you to move past the discomfort.
If you’re always comfortable, you’re not getting the most out of your life. Comfort is the enemy of progress, freedom, and adventure. Learn to deal with being uncomfortable. Turn the uncomfortable into the comfortable. Escape your comfort zone and have a life free of regrets.
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist