The holidays are a great time for us to let our partner know how much they mean to us. This can be in small things we do, small gifts we give, or things we say to our partner. It is not what we do as much as the thought behind it, but do you know what your partner really wants? Instead of giving what you think they would like, take some time to find out what means the most to them. Some people really like gifts; others prefer your time and attention. So, if you are going to make them a priority, find out what they really want from you. It might be simpler than you think.
Last week’s post talked about keeping your relationship a priority during the busy holiday season. If you missed it, please click on the following link: Keeping Your Relationship Alive During the Holiday Season
Now that you are taking steps to keep your relationship at the top of the holiday list, let’s talk about the gift giving.
Not all gifts are created equal and not everyone has the same desires. If you are giving your partner what you think they want or what you would like to receive, you might be missing an opportunity. How were past gifts received by your partner? This might help you to know if you need to make some changes in what or how you give gifts. If you are not sure, ask them!
For some people, the gift itself is really important. They feel loved by receiving gifts that are grand gestures. This might require some extra planning on your part, so you might need to start early. Others really like gifts but prefer smaller ones given more often. If this is the case, doing small gifts daily for the 12 days before Christmas might be just the thing. Is the gift itself the most important thing? For some, it is how the gift is given. They might like their gifts presented in pretty packaging, or maybe they might like little gifts that are hidden where they can find them. The surprise is something they really enjoy.
For some, me included, the gift is not all that important. I really like time with my partner. So, great gift might be something that we do in the near future. In this case, the gift might be talking about and planning a future trip together or a special outing. Another idea might be making all the plans and then taking your partner to your favorite restaurant or possibly a new place they might enjoy. It is not so much about the gift giving for this person but the idea that you took the time to plan something and that you want to spend time together.
For other people, words mean a great deal to them. They are the ones who really like the holiday cards or a poem you write for them. This will mean more to them than the gift. They are the person who has kept every card or note you ever gave them! Be sure during the holidays to let this person know how much they mean to you. Maybe leave little notes, or email or text them something sweet every day. It is another version of the 12 days of Christmas except your gifts are your thoughts!
Still others really like you to do things for them. This is the person who would really appreciate you taking over some of the holiday to-do list. Be the one to call the babysitter and make those arrangements before a holiday party and order the pizza to feed them as well so your partner can just enjoy getting ready and going out with you. A great Christmas gift for this person might be a list of things you will do around the house after the holiday or maybe a list of favorite desserts you will make for them each month for the next year. Just make sure you actually follow through. Small things you do for this person will be the best gift for them.
The last but not least gift is the gift of YOU. Remember to keep love and passion alive during the holidays. Ladies, this is probably the gift your partner wants the most from you. So, add some fun to the holidays and keep the passion alive in your relationship!
If you enjoyed this article, please use the buttons below to share it on social media!
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist