Love is in the Air
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and love is in the air. This is a time for showing your partner just how much they mean to you. You can get caught up in the traditional card and flowers, or you can dig a little deeper and learn what your partner really wants from you. That doesn’t mean you should forego the card and flowers if that is your tradition, but maybe this is the year you expand your horizons. 2017 is the year to understand and appreciate the differences between men and women to create the relationship of your dreams. What better time to start than on Valentine’s Day?
What if you are single? What better time to learn what your prospective partner really wants?
For him:
- Ladies, you know what he wants! He wants intimacy and passion! This is a great Valentine’s Day gift but he really wants this from you on a regular basis. Having a sexy romantic evening might not always be practical but you can flirt with him on a regular basis. You can show him and tell him how attracted you are to him. You can make sure you add some form of intimacy and touch to your daily life.
- He wants you to appreciate him. For Valentine’s Day you could write him a note telling him how much you appreciate all he does. This acknowledgment will mean a great deal to him. Then make it a point to let him know what you appreciate on a regular basis. I write often about how small things make a big difference in a relationship and this is one of the most important ones. Men really need to feel successful in their relationship with you.
- Accept him for who he is! Let your guy know that you love and support him for who he is, not who you would like him to be. Give him the gift of unconditional love. He wants to feel safe being himself around you. Tell him how much you love him and what you like about him. What makes him special? You want to be his biggest fan! What a great gift to give the person you love.
For Her:
- Make her a priority. She wants and needs your attention, but not just on Valentine’s Day. She needs to know that she is a priority in your life. That you love her and would still choose her to be your partner. Spend quality time together on a regular basis and take the lead in planning some of these times together.
- Listen to her. Give her your undivided attention. This means turning off the TV and putting away the cell phone and really taking an interest in her life. When she feels heard she will know you care and will feel closer to you.
- Kiss her like you love her! We talked about men wanting sex for Valentine’s Day but women need intimacy from you. Kiss her like you love her, not just want her. For women, intimacy starts in the heart. Give her more physical touch. Hold her hand, snuggle with her, kiss her, and flirt with her, when you are not headed to the bedroom. Go back to dating her. She will love the attention. Intimacy is more than just physical touch; it includes sharing thoughts, feelings, and secrets. It is emotional as well as physical. All this will help her feel loved and wanted, which will lead to a closer bond and ultimately more interest in sex.
Valentine’s Day might be the perfect time to start a Jar of Joy. Fill it with small love notes, words of encouragement, memories, pictures, gratitude’s, things you love about your partner. Periodically pull out the notes and share them with each other. If you are single, write as if your partner is already in your life. Take out the notes and read them on a regular basis.
This is the year of relationships so be sure to follow me on Facebook for weekly information on understanding and appreciating the differences between men and women to create the relationship of your dreams.
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist.