Remember when you were first together and he couldn’t get enough of you? Remember how good it felt to know he wanted only you and was in love with you? The beginning of a relationship is wonderful with all the chemistry flowing and those “feel good” hormones racing through our bodies. Eventually though we make it past the honeymoon phase in a relationship.
In a long term relationship or marriage, we have times when we are more or less in love with our partner. In order to have an unstoppable relationship, we need to keep the love alive and not let it take a back seat in our lives. So let’s talk about how to get the romance back into your relationship and keep him falling in love with you over and over again!
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Appreciate him
A man will lose interest and quit trying if he feels he can’t please you. It is important to know that he does want to please you! If what he hears most though is complaints and criticism, he will quit trying and his feelings for you will change. A man will not stay in love if he is not appreciated! Men want to succeed so we need to let them know they are successful at being a good partner. It is okay to tell him what makes you happy. Men are not mind readers and do not always know what we need. Just make sure that when you communicate your needs and wants, you do so in a positive way. He will hear you better if you tell him what you want instead of what you don’t want.
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Accept him for who he is.
Men want to be close to us and feel like they can count on us. Let him know you are a team and that you will always have his back. He needs to feel like you love and accept him for who he is, not who you would like him to be. He will fall in love with you over and over again as he feels safe to share his heart with you and to know you will love and respect him unconditionally. This is the same kind of love we give our children but forget to give our guys sometimes. Remember we are unique individuals and it isn’t about getting our way all the time but about loving and accepting each other.
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Be fun.
Men hate drama! They are attracted to our happiness and want to have fun with us. I know things happen in life and we can’t always be happy. I am talking about the overall feel of your relationship. If you find yourself complaining a lot or being needy and demanding, this will be a turn off to your guy. He wants to support to you when you are going through a tough time and you should let him by all means. Just watch that this does not become a pattern in your relationship. Look for ways to share time with him. Go out on dates, watch TV together, go on walks, or share activities together. Keep some fun in your relationship and minimize the drama.
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Flirt and be sexy.
This is similar to having fun but takes it to the next level. Intimacy and passion are essential to an unstoppable relationship. Your guy needs to know you think he is sexy and you are physically attracted to him in order for him to fall in love with you over and over again. Men need to be flirted with on a regular basis. They feel loved when you give them attention and show them how much you want to be with them. The connection you share during lovemaking is unlike any other bond. So flirt and be sexy and enjoy being in love and being loved.
There is nothing like the feeling of being in love and having butterflies in your stomach when you see your partner. It does take some work in a relationship to keep that feeling alive but it can be done and it is so worth the effort. I want you to get up every morning feeling excited to be sharing your life with such a wonderful man. The more you appreciate and love him, the more he will appreciate and love you.
Let me know your thoughts. Next week be sure to read How to Make Her Fall in Love with You Again and Again.
Lori Davis, MA
Relationship Specialist