Are you tired of kissing frogs to find your prince? Are you confused about who those frogs are? Then this post is for you!
Dating can be tricky with so many men out there with so many different intentions. But, learning a little about these frogs can help you find them quickly and leave them in the pond. I hear women say daily that there are no princes out there. This is simply not true. They are out there; you just need to know how to find them!
So, let’s dive right in and learn about the men you don’t want to give your time and attention to and how to identify them quickly so you can find Mr. Right!
-
Player
You are all familiar with this guy. He looks so perfect when you first meet him. He has everything going for him. He has a good job, he dresses nice, he is polite and he sweeps you off your feet. The only problem is he is only looking for a good time not a relationship. You will have a great date with this guy and then not hear from him again. Or, he may be the guy who comes and goes. He will call randomly out of the blue and ask you out. Many women will get caught up in his chemistry and the idea of how great a relationship with him would be. They see his potential, and think if they are only patient or good enough in some way, he will change and want to be with them. He will say things like, “I really like you, but…..” This is your clue that he is a player and he will not change so move on.
-
Hot and Cold
This guy is similar to the player in some ways, but he is more honest about his intentions. He will also come and go in your life but will give you some reason. He might tell you that he likes you but is too busy with work right now for a relationship. He may tell you he isn’t really over his ex and can’t commit right now. There will always be some excuse. You might have a great weekend together and then he will cancel several dates in a row. He is hot and cold in his actions leaving you confused. This is the guy who loves his independence and does not believe in long term relationships. He loves the chase but once you start to respond to him, he retreats. This is clearly another frog you do not want to kiss if you are looking for Mr. Right.
-
Already in a relationship
Maybe this one goes without saying, but sometimes it isn’t clear in the beginning that this guy is already taken. This frog might fall into one of the above categories as well. You might spot him from some of the already mentioned behaviors. The other thing to look for is limits on when you are in contact with him. Does he always call you and only answer your calls during work hours? Is his availability limited? Sometimes it takes a few dates to suspect that he is not really available. Never make the mistake of thinking he will fall for you and change. While there are always exceptions, most likely this guy will not walk away from his established relationship. You are better off walking away!
-
Needy
This is the guy who is not emotionally mature. He may look great in the beginning because you have finally met a man who is sensitive and in touch with his emotions. You feel an instant connection and the relationship seems to move along very quickly. He will tell you all about his life and his past relationships. There will most likely be a pattern here. He will not go very long in between relationships because he is so needy. This is a clue and you should start to ask yourself why there have been so many relationships but none of them lasted. If you stay with this guy too long, he will drain you! You will find yourself taking care of him and not getting enough in return. This is another frog who definitely needs to stay in the pond.
-
No Strings Attached
This next guy is a good choice if you want a casual relationship but not if you are looking for a long term commitment. He is sincere and a good guy. The problem is he has other priorities in his life and you will never be top priority. He is looking for a relationship with no strings attached. He is very busy and happy with his life the way it is. So he will find time for you after he takes care of the other priorities in his life. You might have a set date night, and it won’t vary. He will carve out a small space in his life for you and keep you there. You will notice that he doesn’t invite you to meet his family or friends and he voices the need for a lot of space. The best way to find out where you stand with him is to ask him directly about his relationship goals. If they do not match yours, it is time to move on.
-
Prince Charming
This is the frog you want to kiss because he will turn into your prince. You will know him because he will be available and looking for a committed relationship with a quality girl. There will be no drama or games with this frog. His words and actions match. When he tells you how special you are, you can feel it and see it in his actions. He is able to express his feelings appropriately and has the same relationship goals as you. When you first start dating, he will not pressure you for sex. He will allow the relationship to develop first because he is serious about finding his Mrs. Right.
Now that you know what to look for, I want you to get out there and date! It is important to meet and date a variety of men in order to find your prince. Remember chemistry is necessary but not enough to build a solid relationship on. So don’t settle on one guy too soon. Keep meeting others and take your time getting to know them before you decide to give all your time and attention to just one. Make sure he is Prince Charming material. Remember to enjoy the journey!
I would love to hear from you and know what other topics you would like to me to cover in these blogs.
You might also be interested in these blogs:
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist