We fall in love, get married and live happily ever after, right? Well if it was that easy and that was the norm, I would be out of business. I have to admit that I would happily find another profession if the world was full of people who were all in love and happy in their relationships. Since that is not the case, let’s talk about how to live happily ever after. Yes, it will take some effort, time and maybe some skills you don’t yet have yet, but it is possible. No one really tells us how to be part of a great relationship. If you are lucky, you had good role models and learned about healthy relationships by watching your parents. That is not the case for most of us, though.
Creating and maintaining an Unstoppable Relationship can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. We all want relationships that others notice and even envy! You know that couple that seems so in love and happy. We can all have that relationship and avoid the over-50%-divorce rate!
Where is your relationship? Are you unhappy with the way things are going and wondering if the relationship can be saved? Are you relatively happy and thinking this is as good as it can get? Do you love your partner but miss the way things used to be when you had more love and passion in your relationship? Do you have a really good relationship but feel it could still be better?
There are some things you can do to improve your relationship status and avoid that divorce rate. We pursue our partner in the beginning of a relationship and spend lots of time and effort letting them know how much we want them and how much they mean to us. Then we get married, and we give them less time and attention! Have you ever considered doing more once you are married and not less?
It is so important to let your partner know how much they mean to you and how much you appreciate them. I know this sounds simple, but we forget to do it. We complain easily, but how often do we let the other person know all they are doing right? And, yes, we need to do this even if they are not doing everything just the way we want and even if they are not giving all we want in return. It has to start somewhere. The more appreciated your partner feels, the more they will want to do for you. Before you complain or tell them what they are doing wrong, think about the big picture. Will this discussion ultimately improve your relationship or hurt it? I find that so many things really are just small things and easy to let go of once I start to make the overall relationship my priority.
When was the last time you not only told your partner how much you love and appreciate them but also flirted with them? Do you remember how playful you were when you were dating? It was lots of fun! It is time to go back to doing those things. The small things will make a big difference in keeping your relationship alive and healthy. I know you are tired at the end of the day, so try starting this in the morning. Start your day off with an extra hug, kiss, and some playful behavior, and maybe whisper something in your partner’s ear about plans for the evening. Remember physical intimacy is also important to a relationship. Start small if you need to. You might be surprised how much energy you can find once you realize how much this means to your relationship.
So, if your relationship is not full of love and passion, it is time to make it a priority and give it your attention! This does not have to be difficult; remember the small things can make a big difference. Don’t take your relationship for granted. Small habits of love, appreciation and gratitude go a long way toward making your relationship Unstoppable. Make time for fun, flirt and add more physical touch and intimacy to your relationship. Yes, it takes some effort, but the end result is worth it!
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist