Confidence in one aspect of life doesn’t necessarily translate to another area of life. You might negotiate million dollar deals at work without breaking a sweat, but that doesn’t mean you’re as confident in your love life. Dating can be especially challenging to your confidence. Rejection and dating go hand in hand.
Even if you discover you’re not interested in the other person, it’s a little unsettling to be rejected. Dating can be hard on the ego.
Enhance your dating confidence and enjoy your dates with these strategies:
Have a pre-date routine. Leave nothing to chance. You have a routine that you follow before going to work. Have routine that you follow before a date.
- Pick out your clothes well in advance. You don’t want to find out you’re missing one black sock or a button at the last minute. Make sure you are wearing something that makes you feel good about how you look.
- Leave yourself plenty of time. Getting ready for your date shouldn’t be the last thing you do before leaving the house. Plan on doing some non-essential activity before your date. Use this time to relax and maybe even do something to pamper yourself.
- Map out your destination the night before. Do you know how to get there?
- Don’t forget about getting ready mentally for your date. Review your list of requirements for a partner, review your list of what makes you special, and spend a little time envisioning yourself already in a happy relationship. Mental preparation is as important if not more so than physical preparation.
- These are just a few examples. Create your own routine and stick to it. A routine will help with pre-date jitters.
Keep your purpose in mind. What are you trying to accomplish? If you’re searching for the man or woman of your dreams, it’s not necessary to appeal to everyone you date. You only need to have the right person find you appealing. You’re trying to find the right person, not trying to appeal to everyone that crosses your path.
- Treat each date as an investigation to determine if you want to see the other person again. If they don’t want to go on a second date, they aren’t the right person.
Remember that your date is nervous, too. It’s challenging to be 100% confident on a date. Of course, you’re a little nervous, but your date is just as nervous. Do what you can to put your date at ease. You’ll feel in control of the situation, and your date will appreciate it!
It takes practice. Confidence comes from experience. Go out as much as you can. Dating once a week will result in a higher level of confidence than going on three dates a year. Get out of the house and mingle.
- Get online, create a dating profile, and make as many coffee dates as you can cram into a month. You’ll be a master at small talk after 25 first dates. Start today.
Visualize success. Imagine yourself acting confidently on your date: You never run out of things to say. You’re witty, clever, and confident. Your date is interested in everything you have to say. You both have a wonderful time.
Tell yourself that you’re confident. When you’re feeling nervous, keep repeating to yourself that you’re confident. Avoid leaving any room for negative thoughts to enter your mind. “I’m confident and my date thinks I’m amazing.” Say it.
No one is confident all the time. Accept a little nervousness. Anxiety is part of the dating process. Your date is nervous, too. Create a pre-date routine and remove most of the guesswork. Visualize success and remember to have fun. Use the date as an opportunity to find out more about the other person.
Schedule lots of dates to practice these techniques for 30 days. By the end of the month, you’ll feel like an expert in the dating world!
Remember, if you need help, reach out for a free strategy session. I am here to help you date successfully.
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist