Are you really in control of your thoughts? How important are your thoughts anyway? What are the prominent thoughts in your day to day life?
Your reality is created by your beliefs, which are the results of a lifetime of experiences and messages you take in from the outside world and then make your own. Studies indicate that about 95% of our consciousness comes from our subconscious. Our beliefs, attitudes, and values are stored in our subconscious. It is form these beliefs that we then develop our attitudes and behaviors.
This means that you are more in control of your life than you might like to admit. Your daily thoughts are more important than you realize. You are in control of not only your attitudes, beliefs, and feelings, but also the actions that follow. This takes away the blame you might like to place on others or the outside world when life is not going your way!
As easy as it is to blame others for our difficulties, it is less about them and more about you. Yes, others may be acting in a way that is problematic but ultimately we are the ones responsible for our own lives. This is good news! I know it is easier to blame others but taking responsibility gives you power to change your life.
Become Aware
Changes start by becoming aware of your prominent thoughts. It all starts with becoming the observer. I suggest you set alarms on your phone for random times during the day. When the alarm goes off, simply notice your thoughts and feelings. Do not judge them, just be aware. I consider myself an optimist. I can usually see the good or at least the potential in most circumstances. When I first did this exercise, I was amazed and sometimes appalled at how many negative thoughts I was having. At first I was upset with myself until I got use to simply being the observer. After a few days, I could laugh at myself and allow those thoughts to dissolve quickly.
Make a List
The next step is to write down a list of empowering thoughts and another list of disempowering ones. Empowering thoughts are the ones that make you feel good, motivate you, and make you feel more confident. Disempowering thoughts do the opposite. Some examples are:
- All or nothing thinking
- Glass is half empty
- Stereotyping
- Yes…but thoughts
- Judgements
- Should’s
- Personalizing
What is your daily balance? Are there more empowering or disempowering thoughts? Notice how these thoughts affect your feelings. How do disempowering thoughts affect your level of happiness and the decisions you make?
If you are not happy with any aspect of your life, it is time to take a closer look at your thoughts. Stop blaming others and the world at large for your life. Become the observer of your thoughts. Look for patterns, work on replacing them with more empowering thoughts, and take control of your life. I know this is not always easy to do. Seek out help from a coach or counselor to help you. Then watch the magic unfold! When you change your thoughts, you change your life.
If I can help, contact me for a strategy session.
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist