Dating can reduce the most confident people to a quivering mess of nerves. Dating can make a person feel like they’re on display and burdened with the uncomfortable task of impressing the other person. This doesn’t just sound miserable, it actually is. However, it doesn’t have to be this way.
Dating is a great opportunity to get out of the house and spend time with someone new. That someone might become the most important person in your life! Unfortunately, if your dating confidence is low, you might miss out on a great opportunity.
Try these tips to boost your dating confidence and show the world you’re a great catch:
- Avoid playing to win. Most people go on a date with the goal of making the other person like them. It’s almost like a game to see if they can get another date. However, getting another date might be a bad idea. It’s not a competition where you win or lose each time you step out the door.
- Be prepared. Nothing will ruin your confidence like realizing that your favorite shirt is in the dirty laundry pile, you’re running late, or you’re not even sure where you’re going. Be prepared.
- Give yourself plenty of time to get ready.
- Ensure you have your outfit picked out at least the day before.
- Be clear on where you’re going, how to get there, and how long it will take.
3. Get lots of practice. If you only date once a month, it will be challenging to ever maximize your confidence and comfort level. Instead, set up a bunch of casual dates that only take 30 minutes or so. These dates are less threatening and don’t take a lot of time.
- Meet for coffee or lunch.
- Meet for a quick beer after work.
- You can go on several dates like this each week. You’ll be more likely to find the right person, and this type of date is less stressful than the typical big Saturday night date.
4. Use a date to decide if you want another date. The purpose of a date should be to have a nice time and to get to know the other person. A date is used to decide if you want another date. This takes the pressure off trying to be impressive. It’s a much more relaxing perspective.
5. Remember that the date will be easy if you’re with the right person. Most of us believe we have to suffer in some way to get something good. Like if you want a fancy car or a vacation to London, you might have to scrimp and save for a year to make it happen. You shouldn’t have to suffer to find the right person for you. At least at the beginning, things will feel natural and easy.
6. Remind yourself of your positive qualities. When heading out for a date, we often think about our shortcomings and deficiencies. Now is not the time for that type of thinking. You’ll put yourself into a mental state that won’t be attractive. Instead, remind yourself about all your strengths and positive qualities.
7. Understand that you have everything to gain and nothing to lose. There is nothing truly lost on a bad date other than a little time and maybe a little money. However, you have everything to gain. It’s an ideal situation in many ways.
Dating ought to be fun and easy. With a positive mindset, you can look forward to your dates and have a better chance of making a connection. Confidence comes from experience, so take every opportunity to get out there and spend time with someone new. You have a lot to offer the right person and nothing to lose!
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist
www.LoriAnnDavis.com