At our core, we all have a predominate energy that is either masculine or feminine. Generally, women have feminine core energy and men have masculine core energy. This energy plays a major role in our lives and our relationships. Today we are going to talk about what it means to have masculine and feminine energy and why it is important in dating.
Masculine energy is all about action, giving, decision- making, and problem solving, and assertiveness.
Feminine energy is more about being, feeling, receiving, vulnerability, and openness. Feminine energy is more about being in the moment instead of doing.
In day-to-day life, men and women act in both masculine and feminine ways. We all have both energies inside us and need to utilize both to function in life. However, our masculine and feminine energy play an important role in our relationships as well. It is this difference in energy that causes the attraction between men and women in relationships.
Men generally have at their core masculine energy, and that same energy is generally what they use at work. When they are dating, they can stay in that energy in their relationship. It might need to look a little different when you are interacting with their partner, but the core energy will be the same. Women, on the other hand, spend a great deal of time functioning in masculine energy. It is part of the role we now play in society and is just part of our lives. We get into a habit of acting in masculine energy, and we forget how to be feminine. We forget that to be feminine is our true nature, and it is ok to be feminine and and still be successful in the outside world.
When we are dating, it is important to understand masculine and feminine energy so you can use it to not only attract the right partner but to keep the relationship alive and strong. When men are not in their masculine, women are not as attracted to them. When women are not in their feminine energy, the masculine man will not be interested. It is a dance we do as men and women and when we are dancing together, it is a beautiful thing. I have worked with so many successful, strong women who are not successful in love in part because they treat their relationships as they do their job.
My client in Radical Dating, Wendy, is a strong woman who is successful in her career. One of the things we worked on was learning to be more open, more in her feminine energy, more vulnerable, to flirt more, and allow men to appreciate her as a woman. We had an outing where she tried on different clothes to tap more into her feminine, to get out of her comfort zone. This made a change in how she felt when she started dating. She is now feeling open to being more receptive and allowing a man to be in service to her. She is enjoying her feminine energy more.
When my husband first moved in with us, I had been a single mom for a couple of years. I noticed myself being too quick to handle things myself and not allow him to help me. It was time for me to give over some of that to the guy in my life. I love accomplishing things, but it is exhausting without balance. I love being around masculine energy because then I tap into my feminine energy, and I feel “at home.” I relax and can just be and receive. It rejuvenates me! It also creates great passion in my relationship.
What do men really want
- There are many misunderstandings about what men are looking for in a partner. Men love confident women, they really do! Feeling confident and happy is very attractive to a man. Be strong and confident on the inside but not controlling on the outside. Be soft not weak. Softness comes from the heart and creates an openness that allows space for the other person.
- Men are attracted to women that are happy, having fun, and are playful. A man will be attracted and stay attracted to a woman when he enjoys her company. Men want someone in their lives who is passionate about them and passionate about life. That is why flirting is so important at every stage of a relationship.
- Men are attracted to women who are supportive and encouraging.
He wants to feel better when he is with you and miss you when you are not there. So how do you accomplish this? Relax and let things unfold at their own pace. Don’t rush things.
- Let him take the lead in the relationship, let him pursue you but make sure you let him know he is succeeding. Sometimes women think that dating in feminine energy means not doing anything. He wants and needs your feedback. Let him know that you are interested and that you appreciate what he is doing for you. He wants to be your hero, so give him a chance. If he offers to help you with something, let him, even if you can do it without his help. Then be appreciative.
What do women want
- Women are attracted to loyalty. A woman wants to know a man only has eyes for her. This does not mean she expects him to never look at another woman, but she needs to know you only want to be with her. She needs to know that you are loyal to her, you cherish her, and will be there for her. Let her know you desire her physically and emotionally.
- Communication is very important to women. She needs to feel heard to feel connected. She will bond with you if she feels like you are taking an interest in her thoughts, concerns, and matters that are important to her. Remember, her attraction starts with feeling emotionally connected and safe and then moves to a more physical attraction.
- Be present for her. Pursue Ask her out for that second date, show up on time, make sure she gets home safe, keep in contact between dates, and plan the next date in advance. Tell her what you like about her, not just her physical appearance.
- Do something nice for her. Let her know you appreciate her. Remember something she likes, maybe a brand of coffee, and bring it to her on the next date. Small gestures will mean a great deal to her. Make her a priority in your life.
No one has to tell you how to be feminine or masculine. You already are inside. It is a matter of tapping into this energy and finding what works for you. Each man and woman will have their own version. The key is to find what works for you. What do you need to do to feel more feminine? For men, what do you need to do to act as the masculine man that you are?
Both men and women, I believe, have gotten lost in today’s society. Women complain that the men don’t take enough of the lead in the relationship and men are confused by what women really want. It is important for women to give up some control and stop managing, and over-giving in relationships. It is important to remember femininity is vulnerable but not weak, and it takes courage to be vulnerable. There is a balance women need to find between doing and being.
Surrendering to masculine energy encourages our guys to be more masculine and to do for us. This is their true nature. We can do this while still being confident and strong on the inside. Remember, that confidence and strength is very attractive to men. Being in feminine energy will make him feel closer to you and make you more attractive to him.
Men, don’t be afraid to tell her and show her your feelings. Don’t be afraid to pursue her. Take the lead in relationships and see what happens. Get out there, be brave and learn to dance together once again. Don’t worry if you step on a few toes, keep trying until you find the one that is right for you.
Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS
Certified Relationship Specialist